When faith becomes sight.

Have Faith.  How many times are we told this when we’re facing hard times.  Do not fear.  In a book I read recently the author said that this idea (“Do not fear”) is in every book of the Bible in one way or another.  “You came near when I called you, and said, ‘Do not fear’” Lamentations 3:57.  Isn’t that what faith is?   Knowing we do not need to fear when things happen because God has promised that He will not harm us-”For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11. And yet we fear and our faith is weak.  Sure we think we have faith until we see someone display what real faith is.  Let me tell you about someone who knows what faith is. 

I met Todd about 23 years ago.  He was one of my husband’s friends from high school.  As soon as you meet Todd you know that there’s something different about him.  When Todd tries to talk to you he has trouble finding the words, not like he doesn’t know how he wants to convey his idea, he actually can’t get the words to come out.  So when he talks to you, he uses very few words to get his point across. He has learned how to do this quite well. Also, Todd looks at you kinda funny, like maybe one eye can’t stay where he wants it to.  Then there’s the way Todd walks, he limps and holds his right arm at a funny angle.  Todd can’t help the way he talks, or looks at you, or the way he walks, these are the side effects of being shot in the head when he was a teenager.  Todd was dating a girl whose dad decided he didn’t want her to date anyone and night  he shot Todd in the head to prove his point.  When I first met Todd I used to have trouble talking to him.  I was so overwhelmed at the unfairness of what had happened that I would find myself wanting to cry for his circumstances and tears would come to my eyes and I would have to look away.  Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t complaining, this was who he was and it wasn’t going to change, I just had a hard time with what seemed to me like the waste of a young man’s life.

As the group of friends that Scott(my husband) and Todd were part of started getting married and having families, we didn’t really see all of them very often.  Sad to say, we really lost track of those friends except for at funerals of different parents as the years went by, and an occasional get-together.  Todd found a wife, Sharon, and they had two kids and bought a house and life was moving on. 

Todd works at Giant Eagle doing odd jobs like bringing the carts in and helping however he can, he’s been there quite a few years and is loved by his fellow employees.   So, how does this show faith?  How does this prove that we should not fear?  Well, Sharon was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago.  She fought it tooth and nail, but God took her home to be with Him last Thursday night.  Of course the news was heartbreaking.  This was a woman who had two teenage kids and a husband who deeply depended on her.  How would they ever cope with such a loss?  “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillippians 4:7.  “Peace I leave with you;my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27.  They are coping with it in the only way possible-with faith.

When we went to Sharon’s memorial service Tuesday night I didn’t know what to expect.  I knew I would be overcome with sadness, I typically do not do well at funerals.  There was a very large crowd with a very long waiting line to talk to Todd and his children.  I couldn’t help but feel bad for Todd and the kids, they had to be so exhausted.  When it was finally our turn, there really were no words to say.  I hugged Todd hard and he hugged me back. I managed to tell him how sorry I was.  He was proud to show us the pin that Sharon had on her dress that had a charm for each of the two kids.  They lived a frugal life, so the dress was quite plain, but Todd beamed as he showed us that pin.  Again, we said we were sorry for his loss.  Todd looked at us with sympathy and he held his arms open and said “Jesus…wide open.”  He knew where Sharon was, she was being comforted by her Savior, and so was Todd.  A man of very few words, those three words showed he had Faith, he had no fear. 

As the service played out it was obvious that Todd and Sharon had made sure that their marriage and family was centered on Christ.  Right up until the last night when the pastor said he witnessed Todd trying to sing softly to Sharon “Our God is an Awesome God” to comfort her as she was dieing.  What a testimony to the peace that only God can provide in our times of grief.  And only God can provide the strength that would enable a 15 year old boy to stand in front of a large crowd and tell of how his mother was at her happiest when she was studying her Bible.  It really made me think of how my kids would describe me if this were to happen to our family.  Would they describe me as someone who made it clear that she loved the Lord?

Sometimes we need a picture to show us what it means to have faith and do not fear.  For me that picture will always be my husband’s friend Todd.       

“Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” 1Corinthians 13:12

Hmmmm

This is a praraphrase of something from a book I'm reading, for some reason it really made me sad.

"Had she underestimated her mother, or at least undervalued what her mother had done for them, for her and Peter? The steadfastness of her mother's life, which they had taken as a genius for boredom, the stability which they had taken as boredom, what had she required of them? They knew when they returned from their rambles that their mother would be there, as always, inevitably as if she had never heard of depression or unhappiness, a woman who had her chores to do and did not look beyond them, and so was pronounced boring, "the most boring woman on the earth." That boredom had been the pillar on which their lives were built. That banality had allowed them everything, had caused their imagination to take fire, had led them to dream up worlds of their own, so different from their mother's, so much more colorful, so exciting!"

Is this bad or good?

This is really long (sorry) but I've been reading this book and it's really touching my heart.  You don't have to know everything before it to have this converstion really mean something to you. I promise it's worth reading.  

At least I thought so.                                                                                                                                                     

 Then Christian began, and said, I will ask you a question. How came you to think at first of doing what you do now?

HOPEFUL: Do you mean, how came I at first to look after the good of my soul?

CHRISTIAN: Yes, that is my meaning.

HOPEFUL: I continued a great while in the delight of those things which were seen and sold at our fair; things which I believe now would have, had I continued in them still, drowned me in perdition and destruction.

CHRISTIAN: What things were they?

HOPEFUL: All the treasures and riches of the world. Also I delighted much in rioting, reveling, drinking, swearing, lying, uncleanness, Sabbath-breaking, and what not, that tended to destroy the soul. But I found at last, by hearing and considering of things that are divine, which, indeed, I heard of you, as also of beloved Faithful, that was put to death for his faith and good living in Vanity Fair, that the end of these things is death, Rom. 6:21-23; and that for these things’ sake, the wrath of God cometh upon the children of disobedience. Eph. 5:6.

CHRISTIAN: And did you presently fall under the power of this conviction?

HOPEFUL: No, I was not willing presently to know the evil of sin, nor the damnation that follows upon the commission of it; but endeavored, when my mind at first began to be shaken with the word, to shut mine eyes against the light thereof.

CHRISTIAN: But what was the cause of your carrying of it thus to the first workings of God’s blessed Spirit upon you?

HOPEFUL: The causes were, 1. I was ignorant that this was the work of God upon me. I never thought that by awakenings for sin, God at first begins the conversion of a sinner. 2. Sin was yet very sweet to my flesh, and I was loth to leave it. 3. I could not tell how to part with mine old companions, their presence and actions were so desirable unto me. 4. The hours in which convictions were upon me, were such troublesome and such heart-affrighting hours, that I could not bear, no not so much as the remembrance of them upon my heart.

CHRISTIAN: Then, as it seems, sometimes you got rid of your trouble?

HOPEFUL: Yes, verily, but it would come into my mind again; and then I should be as bad, nay, worse than I was before.

CHRISTIAN: Why, what was it that brought your sins to mind again?

HOPEFUL: Many things; as,

1. If I did but meet a good man in the streets; or,

2. If I have heard any read in the Bible; or,

3. If mine head did begin to ache; or,

4. If I were told that some of my neighbors were sick; or,

5. If I heard the bell toll for some that were dead; or,

6. If I thought of dying myself; or,

7. If I heard that sudden death happened to others.

8. But especially when I thought of myself, that I must quickly come to judgment.

CHRISTIAN: And could you at any time, with ease, get off the guilt of sin, when by any of these ways it came upon you?

HOPEFUL: No, not I; for then they got faster hold of my conscience; and then, if I did but think of going back to sin, (though my mind was turned against it,) it would be double torment to me.

CHRISTIAN: And how did you do then?

HOPEFUL: I thought I must endeavor to mend my life; for else, thought I, I am sure to be damned.

CHRISTIAN: And did you endeavor to mend?

HOPEFUL: Yes, and fled from, not only my sins, but sinful company too, and betook me to religious duties, as praying, reading, weeping for sin, speaking truth to my neighbors, etc. These things did I, with many others, too much here to relate.

CHRISTIAN: And did you think yourself well then?

HOPEFUL: Yes, for a while; but at the last my trouble came tumbling upon me again, and that over the neck of all my reformations.

CHRISTIAN: How came that about, since you were now reformed?

HOPEFUL: There were several things brought it upon me, especially such sayings as these: “All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.” Isa. 64:6. “By the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.” Gal. 2:16. “When ye have done all these things, say, We are unprofitable,” Luke 17:10; with many more such like. From whence I began to reason with myself thus: If all my righteousnesses are as filthy rags; if by the deeds of the law no man can be justified; and if, when we have done all, we are yet unprofitable, then is it but a folly to think of heaven by the law. I farther thought thus: If a man runs a hundred pounds into the shopkeeper’s debt, and after that shall pay for all that he shall fetch; yet if his old debt stands still in the book uncrossed, the shopkeeper may sue him for it, and cast him into prison, till he shall pay the debt.

CHRISTIAN: Well, and how did you apply this to yourself?

HOPEFUL: Why, I thought thus with myself: I have by my sins run a great way into God’s book, and my now reforming will not pay off that score; therefore I should think still, under all my present amendments, But how shall I be freed from that damnation that I brought myself in danger of by my former transgressions?

CHRISTIAN: A very good application: but pray go on.

HOPEFUL: Another thing that hath troubled me ever since my late amendments, is, that if I look narrowly into the best of what I do now, I still see sin, new sin, mixing itself with the best of that I do; so that now I am forced to conclude, that notwithstanding my former fond conceits of myself and duties, I have committed sin enough in one day to send me to hell, though my former life had been faultless.

CHRISTIAN: And what did you do then?

HOPEFUL: Do! I could not tell what to do, until I broke my mind to Faithful; for he and I were well acquainted. And he told me, that unless I could obtain the righteousness of a man that never had sinned, neither mine own, nor all the righteousness of the world, could save me.

CHRISTIAN: And did you think he spake true?

HOPEFUL: Had he told me so when I was pleased and satisfied with my own amendments, I had called him fool for his pains; but now, since I see my own infirmity, and the sin which cleaves to my best performance, I have been forced to be of his opinion.

CHRISTIAN: But did you think, when at first he suggested it to you, that there was such a man to be found, of whom it might justly be said, that he never committed sin?

HOPEFUL: I must confess the words at first sounded strangely; but after a little more talk and company with him, I had full conviction about it.

CHRISTIAN: And did you ask him what man this was, and how you must be justified by him?

HOPEFUL: Yes, and he told me it was the Lord Jesus, that dwelleth on the right hand of the Most High. Heb. 10:12-21. And thus, said he, you must be justified by him, even by trusting to what he hath done by himself in the days of his flesh, and suffered when he did hang on the tree. Rom. 4:5; Col. 1:14; 1 Pet. 1:19. I asked him further, how that man’s righteousness could be of that efficacy, to justify another before God. And he told me he was the mighty God, and did what he did, and died the death also, not for himself, but for me; to whom his doings, and the worthiness of them, should be imputed, if I believed on him.

CHRISTIAN: And what did you do then?

HOPEFUL: I made my objections against my believing, for that I thought he was not willing to save me.

CHRISTIAN: And what said Faithful to you then?

HOPEFUL: He bid me go to him and see. Then I said it was presumption. He said, No; for I was invited to come. Matt. 11:28. Then he gave me a book of Jesus’ inditing, to encourage me the more freely to come; and he said concerning that book, that every jot and tittle thereof stood firmer than heaven and earth. Matt. 24:35. Then I asked him what I must do when I came; and he told me I must entreat upon my knees, Psa. 95:6; Dan. 6:10, with all my heart and soul, Jer. 29:12,13, the Father to reveal him to me. Then I asked him further, how I must make my supplications to him; and he said, Go, and thou shalt find him upon a mercy-seat, where he sits all the year long to give pardon and forgiveness to them that come. Exod. 25:22; Lev. 16:2; Num. 7:89; Heb. 4:16. I told him, that I knew not what to say when I came; and he bid say to this effect: God be merciful to me a sinner, and make me to know and believe in Jesus Christ; for I see, that if his righteousness had not been, or I have not faith in that righteousness, I am utterly cast away. Lord, I have heard that thou art a merciful God, and hast ordained that thy Son Jesus Christ should be the Saviour of the world; and moreover, that thou art willing to bestow him upon such a poor sinner as I am-and I am a sinner indeed. Lord, take therefore this opportunity, and magnify thy grace in the salvation of my soul, through thy Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

CHRISTIAN: And did you do as you were bidden?

HOPEFUL: Yes, over, and over, and over.

CHRISTIAN: And did the Father reveal the Son to you?

HOPEFUL: Not at the first, nor second, nor third, nor fourth, nor fifth, no, nor at the sixth time neither.

CHRISTIAN: What did you do then?

HOPEFUL: What? why I could not tell what to do.

CHRISTIAN: Had you not thoughts of leaving off praying?

HOPEFUL: Yes; an hundred times twice told.

CHRISTIAN: And what was the reason you did not?

HOPEFUL: I believed that it was true which hath been told me, to wit, that without the righteousness of this Christ, all the world could not save me; and therefore, thought I with myself, if I leave off, I die, and I can but die at the throne of grace. And withal this came into my mind, “If it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, and will not tarry.” Hab. 2:3. So I continued praying until the Father showed me his Son.

CHRISTIAN: And how was he revealed unto you?

HOPEFUL: I did not see him with my bodily eyes, but with the eyes of my understanding, Eph. 1:18,19; and thus it was. One day I was very sad, I think sadder than at any one time in my life; and this sadness was through a fresh sight of the greatness and vileness of my sins. And as I was then looking for nothing but hell, and the everlasting damnation of my soul, suddenly, as I thought, I saw the Lord Jesus looking down from heaven upon me, and saying, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.” Acts 16:31.

But I replied, Lord, I am a great, a very great sinner: and he answered, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” 2 Cor. 12:9. Then I said, But, Lord, what is believing? And then I saw from that saying, “He that cometh to me shall never hunger, and he that believeth on me shall never thirst,” John 6:35, that believing and coming was all one; and that he that came, that is, that ran out in his heart and affections after salvation by Christ, he indeed believed in Christ. Then the water stood in mine eyes, and I asked further, But, Lord, may such a great sinner as I am be indeed accepted of thee, and be saved by thee? And I heard him say, “And him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out.” John 6:37. Then I said, But how, Lord, must I consider of thee in my coming to thee, that my faith may be placed aright upon thee? Then he said, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” 1 Tim. 1:15. He is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believes. Rom.10:4, and chap. 4. He died for our sins, and rose again for our justification. Rom. 4:25. He loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood. Rev. 1:5. He is the Mediator between God and us. 1 Tim. 2:5. He ever liveth to make intercession for us. Heb. 7:25. From all which I gathered, that I must look for righteousness in his person, and for satisfaction for my sins by his blood: that what he did in obedience to his Father’s law, and in submitting to the penalty thereof, was not for himself, but for him that will accept it for his salvation, and be thankful. And now was my heart full of joy, mine eyes full of tears, and mine affections running over with love to the name, people, and ways of Jesus Christ.

CHRISTIAN: This was a revelation of Christ to your soul indeed. But tell me particularly what effect this had upon your spirit.

HOPEFUL: It made me see that all the world, notwithstanding all the righteousness thereof, is in a state of condemnation. It made me see that God the Father, though he be just, can justly justify the coming sinner. It made me greatly ashamed of the vileness of my former life, and confounded me with the sense of mine own ignorance; for there never came a thought into my heart before now that showed me so the beauty of Jesus Christ. It made me love a holy life, and long to do something for the honor and glory of the name of the Lord Jesus. Yea, I thought that had I now a thousand gallons of blood in my body, I could spill it all for the sake of the Lord Jesus

If you read all that...isn't it beautiful?

"The Pilgrims's Progress" by John Bunyan

If you know me real well, then you know that I don't like songs or stories that try to manipulate my emotions, but this one I thought was meaningful.  Kinda sappy and these things are  always made up, but oh well.  I hope you like this one.

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said,  'Hi.'  He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.  I looked around and saw the source of his merriment.  It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes.  His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed.  His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.   We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.  His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists.  'Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy.I see ya, buster,'  the man said to Erik. My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?'  Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'  Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man.  The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby.  Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room,  'Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo.' Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.  We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot.  The old man sat poised between me and the door.  'Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,'  I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing.     As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position.  Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.      Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder.  The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes.  His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back.  No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.  I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine.  He said in a firm commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.' Somehow I managed, 'I will', from a throat that contained a stone. He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift'.  I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.' I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, 'Are you willing to share your son for a moment?' when He shared His for all eternity.' The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, 'To enter the Kingdom of God , we must become as little children.'

We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you are.